So yesterday I rode 25 and ran 10. Not long ago...mmmm.... like last year, that would have seemed like no big deal.... yesterday it felt like HELL. Save for the weather, I was totally spent. I was slow as a caterpillar, and my back was SCREAMING in pain. Which begs the question: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Am I crazy to want to do a half ironman in two weeks given my back is killing me and i'm seven weeks away from MAJOR back surgery? maybe, but here's my reasoning... . . . . . . . Since I will be out of commission for at least six months, I want to do ONE more, just in case. I mean, what if the surgery doesn't go well and i cant run anymore after this, much less do triathlons? I will be triathlon deprived, training deprived and sulking in non multisport misery. . . . . One last hurrah won't hurt...that bad...will it??? . . . . . Cheers and happy training! . . . . "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I have fallen behind on blogging because quite frankly, last week was a big blur. I managed to get some cycling in, but not nearly enough to be race ready for a half ironman. Still, i plan to cram and hope for the best. Even if I have to walk the damn race, I'm in. I've been having dreams about the back surgery. Probably not unusual since this will be my first ever surgery. If it all goes well, I will have one lower vertebrate removed, one disc, the bone compound from that lower vertbrate will be placed into the area where the disc was removed, and I will also have my spine fused by plates that will hold it together. WHEW! Just writing that freaked me out. My internship is going well. I love the small staff, am amazed just how many chronically ill young patients are out there, and I hate the insurance hoops they have to go through just to see a doctor. Being an "intern" is like being 22 for me all over again, but it's fine. I am there to learn, and of course, file papers and answer phones. But you have to start somewhere, right? Anyhoo, I have three papers and a million things to do today Better go do them. Cheers and happy training! "Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around." Henry David Thoreau
Posted by pinkgurugal at 9:57 AM
Monday, October 13, 2008
It has been a long time since I have been an intern. But that's what I am again, an intern. . . . Two days a week from now until next May, I am an intern at Baylor College of Medicine's Transition Medicine Clinic, where they see teens and young adult with severe disabilities and help them transition into adult care. Case referral, management type stuff. Its amazing the chronic illnesses out there. Some I had to google. If you really think you have it hard, ask some of these kids and their families about their days. . . . . So today was a not so interesting day for me...get the badge, entered some names and addresses, read some grants, set up some BCM stuff, etc. Good intern type stuff. I am there to learn. I was distracted all day with some personal stuff on my mind, but i put on a good intern face. . . . . The best part of the day was getting to know the social worker there. A fabulous woman with three grown children who's writing a book about tools to use when journaling. . . . . I have a private journal, and it seems the only time i write in it is when i am sad. . . . . . There were NO entries for 2007. . . . . Then of course, there's this blog. I call this my fun, keep me responsible to my training, journal. . . . .. Tonight it was a mere 21 miles on the pink guru. My back still hurts and is pretty tight today so no running. . . . . I may ride in the country tomorrow morning. . . . Cheers and happy training! . . . . "Beautiful is greater than Good, for it includes the Good." Goethe . . .
Posted by pinkgurugal at 7:27 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2008
This time last year, I think I was the happiest girl in the world. I had just completed my first ironman with my bestest friend, I was happy with my circle of friends, and I was getting set to quit, take a major leap of faith, quit my job and travel the world. . . . Of course, God had other plans for me. I met the man of my dreams, shortened the travelling, came back, settled in and took some time off. And a few months ago, I was off to graduate school for social work. . . . Today, I find myself struggling to get out there train. I don't have that natural high and enthusiasm to do it like I used to, and I wish I did. . . . Without going into detail, today was a lousy day. Probably one of the worst in my life. I was going to ride 50 in the country, but my plans changed for reasons I could not have ever imagined. . . . God doesn't put stuff in your life you can't handle, right? Adversity builds character, so I have heard. But sometimes, we don't see in when we are in the thick of it. . . . I'm pinkgurugal, but I feel awfully blue today. . . . Cheers and happy training . . . "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret" Ambrose Bierce
Posted by pinkgurugal at 5:24 PM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
It's late Saturday afternoon, and I need to get my butt off this dining room chair to TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN. I have been pretty good over the last few days (Thursday 30 minute swim and stretching, Friday 1:30 easy ride), but I still need to step things up. Still, it's just my first week of getting back into it, and I don't want to kills myself. I did that last weekend. .. .. . . . . My back is a burning sore piece of S*^!# . It felt so tight this morning, that even light massaging didn't help. Of course, I have been sitting on this chair for hours on end writing three papers for school. . . . . . . 1) How i will plan to master my practice skills (like empathy, feedback...blah blah blah) . . . . . 2) journaling on cases I can't stomach (mine happened to be one about a rape) . . . . 3) Examining Barack Obama's healthcare plan usings models of analysis.... (love Obama, but the plan falls a bit short....mmmm..and I'm biased!) . . . .
.I have been pretty productive today, but I still need to head out for my run....
Then we are supposed to head to a 40th birthday party.
I'm five years away.
Cheers and happy training!
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." Helen Keller
Posted by pinkgurugal at 5:07 PM
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My blog is keeping me honest when it comes to my commitment to do a half ironman in 4 1/2 weeks, despite the fact that I had not been training. . . . My blog is keeping me honest because when I know I have to answer to my blog and would feel like a loser if I wrote tonight that I did not train, I will do it. . . So I trained. . . Note to self. Running seven miles after taking a hiatus leaves mighty sore legs. . . . So tonight I rode 18 miles and ran 3. And it hurt. With every step my thighs were burning in pain. I think it hurt so much my back forgot to remind me it hurts too. . . . Someone once said pain moves when you run. Mine stayed in my thighs the ENTIRE time I ran. . . . This is what I get for getting out of the training loop. . . . Pain is good. Eye on the prize. . . And thank you Jesus for IPODS. . . Had another paper to write tonight about the social work profession. I still can't believe sometimes that soon, I too will be a social worker. . . Still makes me smile. . . . . Cheers and happy training!! . . "Work is effort applied toward some end. The most satisfying work involves directing our efforts toward achieving ends that we ourselves endorse as worthy expressions of our talent and character." Wlliam J. Bennett
Posted by pinkgurugal at 11:10 PM
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Running Rumination . . I have not run in weeks. In fact, the last time I remembered running was a couple of weeks ago, and I ran 4 miles at best. . . . A big part of the reason I have not been runnning has to do with my bad back. I've got fracture lines, herniation, deterioration, complications..blah blah blah. . . . This december, I've decided that ten years of pain is enough. I'm done with band aiding the problem. I'm going to have spinal fusion surgery. Plus removal of a vertebrate and a disc. Fun. . . Mmm... I digressed my point. ADD moment. Sorry...that's me. . . So anyhoo, since I am committing to a half ironman November 9th, and since I am cram training, I am hitting things as hard as a can. . . . 123 miles of riding over the weekend. ... Yesterday I took off. . . . Tonight: Seven miles. . . . I was slow as molasses, but surprisingly, I made it. Sure I was tired. Sure it hurt my back. But I ran without stopping, and that's what I needed to know, that I could run. . . . So my commitment to myself is to continue throwing together workouts for the next four weeks to be ready for the half. I will probably be slow. I will probably be in pain. Heck, I may even regret it. . . . But I need to get into the spirit of triathlon again. I won't be doing any for at least a year after my surgery...so this last one will be the big shi-bang. . . . In fact, I am SO SAD I will not be running my sixth consecutive Houston Marathon in January. I am selling my race entry to a girlfriend. Boo hoo. . . .
.I'm glad I'm back at all this. Training is not the same. I'm doing it alone again.
But I need it.
.One footnote: I started my social work internship. Office environments are such a departure from a TV news room... talk about some serious career culture shock!! . . . Cheers and happy training! . . Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau
Posted by pinkgurugal at 10:28 PM
Monday, October 6, 2008
Graduate School Grunts . . . I'm a student again. A graduate student that is. Eight plus weeks ago I started the first semester in a two year program to get my masters in SOCIAL WORK. . . . At first I was so nervous about going to school. I mean, it had been 14 years since I was a student. And this is total career change, not to mention a life change for me. I mean, I went from being a blow and go reporter to graduate student. From high profile to no profile. And I love it. . . Not that there had been some questionable days. . . I could talk about the day I got lost on campus after orientation and cried in the pouring rain. Then there was that first week of school, when I lugged my books, parked a million miles away, and suffered the worst back pain ever. I rectified that by buying a nerdy rolling backpack. . . It's pink of course. . . .
.Overall, it has so far been a positive experience. I like my professors, love my classmates (all but 3 of whom are women), and I especially enjoy the subject matter. Social work is in the business of helping people, particularly the poor and underserved. We help in crisis, counsel, aid, advocate... anything that has to do with helping people who otherwise might not be able to help themselves. Tomorrow I begin my yearlong internship at Baylor College of Medicine working with severely disabled teens and young adults. I'm pretty nervous. And it will be the first time this year that I have gone to "work". I suspect it will be a humbling experience.
.. I got a much needed massage today from Cheryl, so I decided I would not ruin my loosened back by taking the day off from running.
.I know, I need to run if I want to make that half ironman in five weeks.
.But I have homework. And Rob's making steak and okra.
.And it smells so yum.
.Cheers and happy training! "You're happiest when you're making the greatest contribution." Robert F. Kennedy
Posted by pinkgurugal at 7:44 PM
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Even though I took a blog break for some time, and even though I should be writing one of four papers for school (more on that in a moment), I am back to my blog, compelled to write. I mean, blogging was such a part of my life in 2007, then I sort of dropped it like a hot potato in 2008. As I became more involved with my personal life and the changes surrounding it, I became less involved with triathlons and thus, blogging. But I must admit, I just plain miss it. My blog kept me self inspired, and in many ways, it's therapeutic. My blog is just a part of who I am, however egocentric that sounds. Anyhoo, in life, sometimes to you have to be look for signs. Mine came over the weekend. 1) As I was packing for a weekend trip to the country for some self reflection and for some hard core, much needed cycling, my ironman wisconsin swim cap reappeared, even though I thought I lost it. It made me smile and think about that very happy day of my life. And it was just a year ago. 2) Rob sent me a text and encouraged me to blog again, just as I was thinking about my blog. 3) My best friend's mother sent me the sweetest card and embroidered cross to carry in my wallet. Thank you Edie! Ryan is lucky to have you as his mother! 4) Today, while out on my bike, I received the kindest blog comment from a reader. MIND YOU I have not received a comment in MONTHS. Who reads blogs that are on hiatus, much less comments? Now if this isn't a sign, I'm not sure what is. Here's an excerpt: "I think reading your blog helped me find that person I always was. Take care and God Bless" To that blog reader, thank you for your kind comment. I am deeply humbled and I will have you know, it gave the emotional lift I needed to get through the latter half of my 50 mile ride today. I teared up. Really, you have no idea how touched I was. Things happen for a reason. There are no accidents in life. And thank God there were no pinkgurugal style accidents over the weekend.
I have not been training lately. I have not been running. And I have hardly been swimming. But this weekend, I needed to ride. And ride I did.
That is the actual reading on my Mavic from 3 days of riding. Don't ask me to do the math, but I'm guessing it's somewhere around 120 miles or more? As for the hours, give or take 30 minutes, and I think it's the actual time I spent riding. Because I have not been riding, I am really slow right now!
Some people escape through drugs, drinking or partying or heck, even shopping! I escape by heading to the country, finding a fabulous bed and breakfast, and getting on my bike each morning. Because on my bike I pray. I cry. I whine. I smile. I hurt. I process.
Riding in the country is my therapy. It's familiar to me. It reminds me of good times. And bad ones.
There is nothing better for my soul than gliding through those gently rolling hills with just me, nature and my thoughts.
Mine are all over the place these days.
One thought I had in mind was crash training for the local Ironstar Half Ironman. It's exactly FIVE WEEKS from today. I have not been training, but I can do it... mmmm.. I think.
Well, there is this major back surgery I have scheduled for December, but hey what's one more half ironman a month before that surgery? So what if my lower back shrills in pain every time I run. Nothing a cortisone shot won't do to band aid the problem one more time, right?
AM I CRAZY?
Yes I am. But riding in the country over the weekend made me realize how much I miss training, how much I miss blogging, and how much I needed to get back to both, even at the expense of some serious lower back pain.
I need to get inspired again. I'll talk about school the next time.
Cheers and happy training (to me) !
The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller
Posted by pinkgurugal at 9:59 PM